Uncalled For

Masters of the Universes

So if there’s one question we get a lot here at Uncalled For, it’s probably this one: “Where do you get your ideas?”

I really like this question, because it implies our ideas are really good. But we get it a lot, so writing about it bores me.

If there’s one question we DON’T get a lot here at Uncalled For, it’s probably this one: “What would you do if you were given ultimate cosmic power?”

Now that’s worth spending some time on. I’ve thought about this a LOT. And I think you should too. Here are some of MY predictions for what each of us would do if we were given the Infinity Gauntlet, or the Spear of Destiny, or just a really good magic lamp, and thus became the prime force in reality.

Dan: Life would just be, like, this huge neverending feast. An infinite orgy of indulgence. And like, if you were vegan, that would be cool. We have gourmet options for every appetite. Gluten-intolerant? No worries – gluten’s not even REAL anymore. A meat-eater? Chocoholic? On an alcohol-only diet? It’s all good, because all of existence would just be there for you to gorge yourself on, without any guilt or unhealthiness or loss of life. And then we would dance eternity away in rhythmic joy.

Anders: A highly efficient and non-judgmental world. Everything would be angular, fast-moving, and brilliant. We would all be stunningly beautiful and tall, and talk about film most of the time. It would basically be Sweden the world over.

Mike: Cartoon physics would be reality. You could, and would, regularly hit your loved ones over the head with mallets. They would then shake it off, put their eyeballs back in place, and go laughing on their way. You could do anything you wanted, as long as it was funny.

Nic: Everyone would be super focused on achieving their personal goals, and everyone COULD and WOULD achieve their personal goals, and no one’s personal goals would infringe on anyone else’s personal goals. Like a utopian Venn diagram of dreams, where the sweet spot in the middle where all the circles overlap is the universally shared goal of everyone just being cool with everyone. It goes without saying that in this world, in order to achieve this harmony, all jerks and bastards and mean people would be rounded up and executed.

Caitlin: Universal nudism. We would be sky-clad, and it would be so good. Year round, any climate. Just super naked. That’s it.

Matt: Bad news: I get bored easily. So, my world would start really well, but as the laws that structure reality get picked apart one by one, I’m pretty sure this place would rapidly turn into a giant ball of flame, with awesome robots fighting all the time. And then I’d turn us all into colours, or something really abstract. Then musical notes, and then we’d all just… fade away.

I hope this answers the question I wanted you to ask.